after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
