Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
