Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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