Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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