I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
