I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Who died my cat blue again?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
