it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
