i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
