I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
