So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
