I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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