Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
