bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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