I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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