How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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