Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
