yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize