Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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