Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
