all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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