Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
