Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
