Are we in a gay sports bar?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
