I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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