If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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