i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
