Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You dont lie about slip and slides
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize