Your face is a jimmy john
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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