Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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