ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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