And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
