I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
