I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
