Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
