i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
BRING THE BAGELS
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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