dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
