Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
