I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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