He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
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