If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize