Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
