this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
