Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
