pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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