Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
