it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
