Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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