Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
