guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize