2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
