It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize