im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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