Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
