i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
