just tell him i said nine months
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
