Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
