Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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